I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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