I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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