he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
