Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
