thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
