Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
