Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
