great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
