So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
