Plan B is the new Plan A
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
