Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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