hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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