what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
