just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
