dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Actions speak louder than pants.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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