Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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