I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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