saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
