So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
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