dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
