There was a lot of him and a little penis
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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