I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
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