I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
