I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
