his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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