...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Randomize
