what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
