I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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