Just fell off a train. Bad.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Randomize
