walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
