As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
