it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
