In the future we'll all be gay
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
