It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize