fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize