I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Randomize
