I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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