I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize