I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
