I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize