so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
We are two peas in an std pod
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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