Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
