Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
