id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
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