So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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