i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
