At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
