Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I'm really busy with my period
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