Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
