he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
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