Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
