Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Just pee around me
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
