It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
