Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
