He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
