Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
