Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
